lights will guide you home and ignite your bones

Cassie: Do you know what hurts most about a broken heart? Not being able to remember how you felt before… try and keep that feeling, because… if it goes… you’ll never get it back. You lay waste to the world… and everything in it.

go ahead and disappoint me

That pain is bad, and no pain is better.

"Does it hurt?"

"Yeah."

"Where does it hurt?"

"Everywhere..."

"Maybe it hurts for a reason."

These violent delights have violent ends

And then there’s that one little moment when all you can do is lay on your back and just stay there. Breathing gets too painful, moving gets too painful, blinking gets too painful. All you can do is just stay there. On the ground with eyes wide open while your body turns cold. You feel it, every inch of your body is dying but you simply don’t care. You’re too tired to get up, you’re too tired to fight. Fighting just doesn’t worth it. Why fighting when you can just lay there and see life pass right in front of your eyes? It hurts less. You slowly stop breathing, you stop caring because everybody just doesn’t. All those people who shit on you get to your mind, tears start streaming down your face warming up your skin, and it’s just probably the only thing who says that you’re alive. Everything aches, your heart aches, your body aches and those tears you’ve been crying suddenly feel like the heaviest thing you’ve ever carried before. You’re dying. And you don’t mind. At all. You stop breathing; you feel your blood starting to run slow through your veins, you feel it for the last time in your life. Your heart stops beating, you’re now dead. But in a strange way, you’re more alive than you’ve ever felt before.

distress your stressed up heart

fall once, get up twice

After some time you learn the difference, the subtle difference between giving a hand and fettering a soul;

And you learn that to love doesn't mean to support yourself, and that company doesn't always mean security.

And you learn that kisses are not contracts and that gifts are not promises.

And you start to accept your loss with your head up and eyes straight ahead, with the grace of a grown-up, not the sadness of a child.

You learn to build the roads of today, because tomorrow's land is too unknown to make plans and the future usually falls from nowhere.

After a while you learn that the sun burns if you expose yourself to it for very long.

And you learn that it doesn’t matter how much you care, some people just don’t.

And you accept that it doesn’t matter how good someone can be, they will hurt you once in a while and you have to forgive them for that.

And you learn that talking can be a relief to emotional pain.

You learn that it takes years to build trust and just seconds to destroy it, and you can do things in a second that you will regret for the rest of your life…

You learn that friendship continuous to grow even with the distance and that what matters is not what you have in life, but who you are in life.

And you learn that you don’t have to change friends if you understand that friends change, and you realize that you and your friend can do nothing or everything and still have good times together.

And you learn that the people you care the most are taken away from you too fast, that is why we should always say caring things to those we love, because it might be the last time we see them…

And you learn that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others, but to the best you can become.

You learn that it takes a long time for you to become the person you want to be, and that life is too short.

And you learn that it doesn't matter where you've already gotten to, but where you are going, and if you don't know where you're going, anywhere will do.

You learn that either you control your acts or they will control you, and that being flexible doesn't mean you are being weak, or that you don't have a personality, for no matter how delicate and fragile a situation is, there are always two sides of it.

And you learn that heroes are those that did only what was necessary...

You learn that patience requires a lot of practice.

You find out that sometimes the person that you expect to kick you when you fall, is one of the few that will help you up.

You learn that maturity is about what kind of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them, not how many birthdays you have already celebrated.

You learn that there's more of your parents in you than you suppose.

You learn that you should never tell a child that dreams are foolishness, few things are so humiliating that it would be a tragedy if he believed that.

You learn that when you are angry you have the right to be angry, but that does not give you the right to be cruel.

You learn that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want to be loved, it doesn't mean that the person doesn't know how to love, and s/he loves you as much as s/he can, because there are people who love you, but simply don't know how to show it.

You learn that being forgiven is never enough, sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

You learn that with the same harshness that you judge, you someday, will be condemned.

You learn that no matter how many pieces your heart was broken into, the world doesn't stop so you can fix it.

You learn that you cannot go back in time, so you have to take care of your garden and not wait for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn you can really bear it, that you're really strong and that you can go farther than you think, and that life has a value and you have a value before life!

And you learn that our doubts are disloyal and that makes us lose what we could achieve, if it weren’t for the fear of trying.

William Shakespeare

Do you think the memory will become more painless then?

"Listen, I'm getting too old for a lot of things. But I'm not too old for words, for a baggy pair of jeans and my boyfriend's t shirts. I'm not too old for wine in a paper cup and a Marlboro every once in a while. I'm not too old for Peter Pan and I'm not too old to quote Holden Caulfield. I'm not too old to lay in my bed all day trying to get this story out of my skin, trying to burn it through the paper and leave my thumb prints hanging from each corner. I'm not too old to read books under my covers with a flashlight, not too old to stare at the glow in the dark stars stuck on my ceiling at night. I'm not too old to ride around with the windows down and Simon and Garfunkel turned up, because that's the way Simon and Garfunkel should be played. I'm not too old to jump on my bed and refuse to wash my hair. I'm not too old to run around bare foot with a smile stuck on my face even when times are hard. And I'm not too old to get out of here. Next spring I'm taking off. To hear summer turn into fall. To listen as the leaves in a park somewhere whisper stories in my ear. To fall asleep in the rose gardens, wake up when the winter laughs under my sheets. To write letters back home on paper napkins, make light waves feel like experiences. To make mistakes, to write poetry in the backest seat of a bus, to exchange a thousand words with people I've never met, to do things I've never done on my own before, to fail miserably time after time, to fuck up and never ever ever ever give up."

Unknown

Don't be afraid, you're already dead!

"Then there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. It's called unrequited love. Of that I am expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual. And I have willingly loved that man for over three miserable years! The absolute worst years of my life! The worst Christmas', the worst Birthday's, New Year's Eve brought in by tears and valium. These years that I've been in love have been the darkest days of my life. All because I've been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back."

Iris, The Holiday

And the "oh my god, please kill me now" hits

"You know that feeling?

When you're just waiting.

Waiting to get home, into your room,

Close the door, fall into bed,

And just let everything out that you kept in all day.

That feeling of both relief and desperation.

Nothing is wrong.

But nothing is right either.

And you're tired.

Tired of everything, tired of nothing.

And you just want someone to

Be there and tell you it's okay.

But no one's going to be there.

And you know you have to be strong

For yourself, because no one can fix you.

But you're tired of waiting,

Tired to be the one to fix yourself and everyone else.

Tired of being strong.

And for once, you just want it to be easy.

To be simple. To be helped. To be saved.

But you know you won't be.

But you're still hoping.

And you're still wishing.

And you're still staying strong and fighting,

With tears in your eyes.

You're fighting."

Unknown

Special unspoken without sound,

Here's to you, here's to me

On to us, nobody knows

Nobody sees, nobody but me